Sunday, January 16, 2011

It's 2:33 a.m. and I'm still FUMING...gotta get this rage under control.

Yeah, you know how I said the only TBM that responded to my facebook post was the sweetest, kindest friend?  Well, she ended up unfriending me AND blocking me AND erasing all of her 10+ posts.  The ouchiest part of that is that she and I had been emailing eachother privately throughout the time she was posting.  Things took a turn when I revealed to her that I had already sent my resignation letter in to SLC.  That's when she stopped emailing and shortley thereafter deleted the posts, etcetera.  The weird thing is that a few minutes ago when I finally decided to turn the computer back on and distract myself from my anger (since it was keeping me from sleeping), I saw that there was another post on there from her.  I don't get it.  She was previously off my FB list and I couldn't locate her before.  Anyways, I was so pissed off I reverted to my 8th grade self and deleted her post before I read it and unfriended and blocked her.  How's that for maturity on my part?  I swear, sometimes I embarrass myself.

Well, what's done is done.  I think my FB experiment was useful, though.  I've learned for myself that eventually my TBM friends will desert me for fear of me dragging them down to hell with me.  A friend of mine from Postmo has been telling me this for quite a while now, but I kept thinking I was one of the lucky few that wouldn't have that same experience. 

This is, of course, the main reason for my anger.  You know, I got through the fact that the church was a load of crap pretty well.  It sucked, but I adjusted and found my happy place more or less.  My big source of all-things-shitty now is dealing with the backlash from my LDS friends/acquaintances. 

Dammit.  This is the same level of anger I felt when I was going through my divorce.  This is so STUPID.

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