I've been thinking about how nice it was back when I was oblivious to the truth. Sure, I had my challenges like everyone else, but back then there was a supposed "reason" for my challenges, a big picture that I just didn't have a clear understanding of. The upside to my current non-blissful ignorance is that the challenges I had before don't seem so challenging. The downside is that those challenges are overshadowed by the fact that there is no real big picture anymore, you know?
Maybe I'm just PMS-ing.
Which gets me to thinking about good old JS. I hope with "every fiber of my being" that his wives' cycles synched up and they all got PMS-y on him every damn month. I hope they were just too embarrassed/scared to write in their journals about how they beat the shit out of that man on a monthly basis.
Yeah. That makes me feel a little better.
If it's PMS, then I've got a touch of it too... And I'm a DUDE!
ReplyDeleteI've been reading through your blog (just stumbled onto it today) and want to offer my support.
ReplyDeleteI resigned a year ago, and have times I feel liberated, free, peaceful. But there are other times when the pain and anger still bubbles up to the surface. I was in a total funk for about 3 weeks after watching GC last October. I was pissed at Packer's talk, then it gnawed at me for weeks.
Then I witnessed my daughter get her patriarchal blessing, promising her many things she'll feel compelled to fulfill, adding more pressure to her already busy life.
Living in the midst of Mormonism (Utah County), you just can't escape little digs and comments that'll shake your nerves. It's a process, and it takes time.
You're going through the anger phase of mourning, and it's a phase that goes away, but I guarantee it will come back from time to time. Just know that's normal.
***I have to laugh at your experimenting with alcohol. I too can't stand the taste of beer, but I'm trying. I really want to enjoy it like many people do. I usually just end up feeling bloated.
Urban Koda - I needed that laugh!
ReplyDeleteFanny - Thanks for your support. :)
Ditto, I'm missing that BIG picture most days too, WTF. Thanks for putting that feeling in to words. That is exactly the problem!
ReplyDelete(LOLOLOL OMG, I keep telling people how I have tried to like beer and wine but just can't seem to slam it down. Although, a White Russian did tickle my fancy last summer. Thanks Fanny and WTF for helping me feel normal.)
I feel the same way :(
ReplyDeleteAlcohol is an acquired taste. If you want to acquire the taste, it's great fun to try a bunch of different things, but if not...that's okay too!