A Good Day

I spoke with my dad today and it was a good, constructive conversation.  My big concern has been how on earth to feel comfortable talking to him again after our funky blow up and, more importantly, now that he knows I have serious doubts about the church.  (I'll be honest with you, I tried to convey to him just how serious my "doubts" about the church really are without being too blunt and risking another cuss-fest between the two of us.  The problem is, I couldn't be as honest as I wanted to with him, meaning I didn't have the guts to tell him I'm out for good.) 

I do believe, though, that our relationship is on the mend and I couldn't be happier about it.  I let him know that I've noticed that our emails and phone calls have been short and superficial since our argument and even though we've been kind to eachother, it still has just felt wrong - like we've lost our ability to be ourselves with eachother.  From that point we were able to open up with eachother about our feelings, etcetera and work things out. 

I'm really pleased that my dad didn't preach to me.  Yes, he did use some of the annoying verbage like "This is a trial of your faith," etcetera, but he was trying to be careful and respectful with his wording and I appreciated that.  We were able to talk about a few of the things over the years that bothered him (ie. Dallin H. Oaks and the white salamander thing) and we were able to find common ground in those things.  I think the part that renews my respect for him the most is that I was able to express that my faith simply cannot withstand the kind of knocks that his can and he seemed to understand.  I think it clicked for him when I put it in those terms.

Well, this is a really, really good thing.  Definitely something to be thankful for.

By the way, I'm really thankful for the kind, supportive, helpful comments I've been getting here on my blog.  It's really helpful to know that there are people out there who understand what it's like to go through all of the emotions I'm going through.  Thanks. :)