I've noticed over the last several weeks or so that my blog intended for my family and friends (all LDS) is getting zero hits. I have a theory as to why. Several weeks or so ago I came out and said I left the church. I think I did a great job explaining myself and being respectful of my LDS readers. I've always used my blogs as public journals basically for my loved ones to read, but now that some of my writings include honest feelings and experiences of a non-LDS nature I've noticed that my "friends" and family don't really care to know.
I understand to some degree the discomfort that some of my blog entries must cause. Though, mind you, I'm not chronicalling my new experiences with drinking (which are few and far between anyways). The thing is my blog entries in the past have always been quite a bit out of step with the average LDS "perfect," "my-life-is-so-wonderful" type blog. So, my friends and family should be used to reading my non-traditional stuff. I also made it a point not to preach in any of my blog entries. In fact, they were geared towards helping them to understand what a person like me goes through.
Anyways, I guess it just got too uncomfortable for them. I got an email and 1 comment when I mentioned that I'd left the church and that's it. I've gotten some visits from some of my followers here (thank you!), but nothing from the people I originally set the blog up for. So, I deleted the blog this morning. There's no point in going through the effort of spilling my guts to an audience that doesn't give a crap, right?
I have to admit that it hurts, though. It's alienating enough to go through leaving the church, but when you keep getting confirmation after confirmation that you are really viewed as an outsider by those that you've trusted and come to love over the years, well, it just has a way of messing with your head and heart. If you're reading this blog, then of course you understand what I'm talking about.
I'd like to leave with a heart felt thought on this topic:
You know what.