Sweating the Relatively Small Stuff...

First of all, on a positive note:   Thank you for your comments and for visiting my blog.  I'm feeling the love and it is much needed right now. ;)

Now, onto the poopy stuff:  In a nutshell, a member of the bishopric is coming over tomorrow night.  Why?  He didn't say, but it does not take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.  He originally wanted to meet today before church, but I work a split shift from home on Sundays, so I was able to avoid that.

Basically, I haven't been to church in 5 weeks or so and I asked to be released from my primary calling a few weeks ago.  This, of course, all happened after I discovered aspects of church history and church doctrine that rubbed me wrong a little over a month ago.

I'm sweating it big time.  I've gotten some wonderful advice so far and I plan on being prepared with my personal list of concerns.  I know they can't be resolved to my satisfaction, so I won't bother being terribly specific during the meeting tomorrow evening.  If push comes to shove, though, I'll bring up the Book of Abraham thing and leave it at that.  There's NOTHING redeeming that can be said about that issue and it's certainly not a matter of personal interpretation.  I could pray till the cows come home about that issue and not a single warm fuzzy would come of it.

Here's the thing with this meeting, it is the first outward/public display of my disaffection with the church.  Yes, I have shared this with my family and several very close friends, but this, THIS, is big for me.  I mean, there'll be no running away from my decision to leave the church once the bishopric knows (though I wouldn't change my mind about that decision regardless of the circumstances).

I love and respect my bishopric.  They're dedicated men, who sacrifice more than they should for their callings and I truly feel their love for me.  I hate that I'm going to be contributing to the load they are already carrying.  It makes me SO MAD that I can't deal directly with the people that I truly have the problems with.  Alas, most of them are dead...and the ones that aren't are too adept at ignoring the truth anyways.  Stupid jerks.